The next federal election is just less than a year away, but already it seems evident that certain issues such as carbon taxation and immigration policy will play a large role.
There is another far more pressing matter that commands priority in next year’s election, an issue that doesn’t garner as much attention as it deserves, as it stealthily but steadily destroys all of our lives. That issue, overlooked for far too long, is daylight saving time, and it’s time for the nationwide abolition of this atrocity.
After all, we got rid of capital punishment, and I think we can all agree that daylight saving time is much, much worse.
As most of the country reverted from daylight saving time to standard time this weekend, surely we were all reminded of the chaos and maelstrom this unnatural abomination wreaks upon our existence. Just a few short months ago, the sun was setting at 9 p.m., and now, the long, dark cloak of night is laying claim to your dinner table at 5 p.m., blanketing your mashed potatoes in a black shroud of perpetual sorrow.
And that’s not right, friends.
Most of us don’t even really know why daylight saving time exists in the first place, not really. Do you? Do you really? Of course you don’t.
“It’s something to do with farmers,” we all say absent-mindedly, as we start booking flights to Florida and Googling where to find the best deal on vitamin D drops in bulk.
Nine out of 10 provinces agree that Saskatchewan is not very good at very much, but at least it had the wherewithal to stand firm against the soul-sucking monstrosity that is daylight saving time.
OK, I apologize for the Saskatchewan joke. I flat out apologize.
All I’m saying is that Section 12 of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms protects Canadians from cruel and unusual punishment, so technically daylight saving time is a violation of the Constitution.
You know what time I went to bed on Sunday night? Six o’clock. And it had nothing to do with being a father to an 18-month old. In fact, she was still up, and I’m pretty sure I saw her laughing and pointing at me.
In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, while there are a host of serious issues facing the country – climate change, a rising disparity between the rich and poor, crippling debt, lack of a national housing strategy or universal pharmacare program – I think we can all agree these things pale in comparison to slaying the abominable dragon that is daylight saving time.
Whichever party vows to do so has my vote. It’s time to bring the subject into the light. It’s time to leave the clocks alone.